the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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