Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
