I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Houston, we have a blender
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
