he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
