I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
