I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
