don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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