dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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