So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
