When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
