Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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