My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
