i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
