I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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