piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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