I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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