Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Michael Bay diarrhea
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
