There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
