Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am one with the molecules
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize