remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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