hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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