You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
