Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
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