she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
