Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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