I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize