I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
