Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
