i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
