i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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