i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize