A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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