I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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