): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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