addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
