hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
