Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
