The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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