Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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