I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
