When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
