I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
