No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
