So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
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I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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