It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
