i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
