You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
