So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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