I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
