oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
