it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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