she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm too high and old for this...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
