Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
