Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
