At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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