I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Who died my cat blue again?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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