I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
