when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
