I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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