exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
