just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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