you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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