Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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