oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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