I met the friendliest cop last night
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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