Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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