I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
